foreveralone.
I've forgotten that laughing with a friend can make you feel less alone in this vast world, and that trite poems can renew you in a vulnerable moment.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005!
Kum rant on; 10:23 AM
well.. tis wk i muz sae it was not a gd wk to begin. firstly ricky and don tok infront of mi abt smthg. well.. i tell ricky to tell mi abt it at nite. don sae no and i can feel tt ricky aso dun wan to tell mi. fine.. im okie wif it. den i asked jon whether he noes smthg abt it during the cls deco. cece and jeanette was there too. jon sae no and dunno hu spread it to rick ears tt i asked them tt. i was like shocked.. tt's fast. our cls ish really incredible.. spreading 'news' so fast. den rick msg mi telling mi tt he dun wan to tell mi and tt ask mi stop telling abt it. i say okie and he was like keep msging mi tt promise not to tell anyone. three times i tink. im damn frustrated and sad. i already gave him my word and he was like questioning mi.. doubting mi and dun trust mi. i msg him back like i already gave ya my word. if u dun trust mi it's okie. den u noe wat.. haiz.. he msg back.. ' it's not tt i dun trust ya.. juz tt smtimes you exposed too much.. i mean.. u aske wrong ppl .. ...' exposed too much.. ya. i exposed too much when i only told may wat chay hwee told mi. i had only gd intentions.. telling may wat chay hwee told mi ish to hope may noe wat they r thinking.. maybe den she understand y e gerls had been avoiding her. and den wat.. i exposed too much.. if i dun tell may.. other ppl would tell her too rite. im veri heartbroken now. i can confess tt i ricky told everything abt wat happened on the gerls side and he was saying tt i reveal too much. ya to him maybe.tt's y i didnt go to sch todae. im already veri tired fr helping out in e cls deco and i cant even cope wif my work. i tried to look on the bright side of life and aso tried to help out in the cls conflicts. yet ppl is accusing mi of exposing too much. sob~. im was really sad and tried to find smone to tok to yesterdae. i msg may and she said can tok at 9. i was like saying nvm den. and she sae okie. i didnt expect her to sae tt. during her times of trouble. wasnt i who lent her a listening ear in sch. yet she didnt even asked mi wat's wrong. so sad. maybe u can sae tt im too emotional. but my heart ish realli broken now. no one realli understand and appreciate mi i guess. maybe im juz a passing by clouds in their life. a cloud which block out the too sunny sun when they play outdoor. but when i start raining.. everyone would start running away fr mi.. cursing mi y muz i rain when they r playing outdoors. and it's not the first or 2nd time they broke my heart. im juz a hypocrite infront of my clsmates.