foreveralone.
I've forgotten that laughing with a friend can make you feel less alone in this vast world, and that trite poems can renew you in a vulnerable moment.
Sunday, April 08, 2012!
Kum rant on; 11:13 PM
This blog has been inactive for the longest time. so i shall post my thoughts here today! :)
Hello everyone! it's been a while. time flies. I'm 23 now, although i hate to admit that nothing much has changed since i was 21, except for my job; I am now working as a social work assistant at TTSH.
The change has been a positive one. My job scope, to summarize, is to help the lower-income Singaporeans to apply for medifund to assist with their treatment fees. Sometimes i feel more like a financial counseller. But that's not the point. Usually after a interview with the patient, i get this discomfort feeling that I could have done it in a different way, in a better way. My colleagues have feedbacked to me that i'd always approached certain questions too directly. It'll be better if I build a rapport with them first.
But the thing is, I don't know how. My character, is much of a loner. The more patients I see, the void in my heart gets wider, because I feel that i did not serve them well. In addition, I always envied my colleagues and friends for knowing what to talk at the right time in a conversation and it'll bring laughters. my comments would only bring akward silence.
And i feel even more demoralized today because it's Easter. Last day of lent. Usually this period is a time when i would feel the most spiritually lifted high for the year, because of the fasting. But now, i just feel like a loser because i did nothing. I'd indulged in too much sleeping and watching too much kpop shows, using these two as an excuse for relaxation, not doing homework, and not having a daily quiet time with God.
random thoughts for this week: i feel lonely these few days, and i duno why. i hate being poor at english coz it affects my work. and i am not exercising much.
i really need a change! i need to get back to God :'(