foreveralone.
I've forgotten that laughing with a friend can make you feel less alone in this vast world, and that trite poems can renew you in a vulnerable moment.
Sunday, November 15, 2009!
Kum rant on; 11:03 PM
i just deleted what i wrote
because all the things i'd written, it is a form of release to lessen my guilt for the week,
by admitting my wrongs.
Aint it meaningless for people to know how you feel, through blog?
i am a people person. but i cant communicate well.
i find it unneccessary to torture my few readers with the negativity of my materials every wk.
to tell people how i feel, my constant yearning for character improvements, the disappointments i always feel throughout the week, days and minutes. the silent anger i revealed to my closest one when things dont go my way and i have never really find out a way to deal with it.
What's wrong with me? :(
im complaining yet again. I apologise and i hope this post will be the last of it.
i thank God for my friends but i dont mind being a loner.
i thank God for my faith which im ashamed of to keep it all for myself, and never shared it.
And i thank God for my family which i'd never showed appreciation to.
it's fun discussing childhood.
we ( + my mom & sis) shared it on our way home after dinner on sat night.
i dont rmb most of the things that they have said.
like fighting alot with my brother.
i only rmb the physical actions that may have contributed to my rowdy character
i rmb bits and pieces of secondary school life which im not proud of.
but thinking back, i am glad that how my family has grown.
the kids have grown up but the mom has not grown old.
the family is in harmony, although not as closed i wanted it to be,
but at least we are not fighting anymore.
we are not rich, but we are well provided for.
the only lacking in my life now is to find a purpose for it.
i often admire people that can go through uni w/o worrying abt the sch fees.
maybe it's God's way for me to stop and think what i really want.
den to take the first step by pursing a degree in it.
for this, i thank Ivan for his teaching today.
because it reminds me of what is important.
not to get upset anymore when people use study as an execuse to get priority.
because it's not that i dont want to study, but not yet.
to channel all the unhappiness and anger to find what God really has instore for me is the right way to use my energy:P
i love my family:D