foreveralone.
I've forgotten that laughing with a friend can make you feel less alone in this vast world, and that trite poems can renew you in a vulnerable moment.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007!
Kum rant on; 3:39 PM
My favourite time of the year; Xmas!
It's today! :D
Ydae/Today i simply had a wonderful time!
went to church for service as usual.
except that this time e service timing is earlier,
and im involved in the xmas play.
that's why the feelin is abit more special:D
was really glad to see my cheerleadin fren n Ziyi goin.
hahas.
Thank you for coming!
went for supper after that.
okie. jonathan like waited how long for the noodles?
so we left for israel house first.
only a few of us went.
watched 2 and a half movies, drama series and played game.
had some most embassring moment of my life.
seen a diff side of my church frens.
And i thank God for them!
esp uncle daniel:P
he's real cool!
i just found out ydae...
that he knows more celebrities den me.
watched more dramas & sleep less den me.
my church is blessed with hip but traditional leaders!
Thank God for them!
Look forward to next yr's overnite stay.
Look foward to friday's get 2gthr!
Happy bdae Jesus!
to my cheerleading fren:
if im hostile to u recently
forgive me.
after the course...
after the church camp.
i dun really know what i want to be..
or what i want fr Blazers.
am i cut to be a cheerleader?
am i...
do i..
a lot of thoughts surfaced.
sorry for these selfish thoughts.
my heart is strugglin now coz i duno is this what i wan.
to be exhausted.
to have uncompleted projects.
to neglect God.
to gain e muscles which really makes me ulgy.
to feel that my time can be better spent on other stuff.
but im happy when im training.
Not going for nationals is a solution
is an easier way out.
my heart tells me to go for nationals
logic and mind tells me not to do so.
so i want to clear things myself.
i dun wan to be selfish
coz if others wan it more den me.
and is willingness to put in more effort den me.
the chance shld be given to them.
what I can tell you now is that
for nationals
if i've decide to go for e competition...
i'll go all the way out.
coz i feel that i can do so much more.
yet cannot.
need triple the efforts and double my confidence
hopefully e first trainin i wld find my ans.
i will start praying for directions.
im opening up.
but for this period,
i hope to be alone.
this is not for e team anymore.
it's for me.
if i duno myself,
i can never do the best for this team.
again. i apologise for being selfish.