foreveralone.
I've forgotten that laughing with a friend can make you feel less alone in this vast world, and that trite poems can renew you in a vulnerable moment.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006!
Kum rant on; 8:39 PM
has not been doin alot of work this week.
mayb becoz of last week...
that i slacked too much.
so no mood to do any tutorials or proj this wk.
hiaz.. so im still slackin by bloggin now
den i'll go force myself to do wk later.
ydae trainin i expected it to be gd.
since there's no more rountines to do..
so i need not wry abt hurting my bases again.
but then.. i was wrong.
supposed to base on gen.
but made her cry.
hiaz..
even when i do on Ms Akane i cnouldn't even do it properly
let alone to on gen.
im just so sorrie for hurtin u.
im so sorrie.
and i thank you for tolerating me.
i was tinking if i was born bigger size it'll be gd.
den i can be a base instead.
but reality is reality..
if im in cheerleadin..
i can never be a base.
it has been a few mths since im in cheerleadin.
but hiaz.. i can't even do a properly shoulder stand.
in fact.. i tink my performance has been deteriorating.
i wan to do well.. but i just duno how.
mayb i did not put in enough effort.
or mayb it's how you work smart.. not work hard.
and i hav tot of me myself being in cheerleadin...
for quite sometimes already long time.
did i go there just for e friends?
or am i in there becoz im worthy to be there?
or i just happened to be there?
i dun tink i even hav e basic skills to call myself a cheerleader.
let alone be part of Blazer.
if i contiune to stay in Blazer.. wld i slow e team fr progressin?
i only see myself in Blazers as carryin mats for and after the practice.
mayb tat's e only thing im only gd at.
And during trainin i still train..
becoz im there.
so coach must gimme something to do.
actually im not needed.
i'd toked to serene abt tis issue be4.
i hav gave myself time to improve.
but things still dun wk out.
i duno how it'll work out..
but i hope it'll work out somehow.
and sometimes i wonder why gd cheerleaders
like Mal, layhar and joseph quit.
and the lousy me is still inside.
lol.. im just crappin..
dun bother abt me.
got to go to do hmwk.
bye for now.